Lizard People

Last Christmas Morning, 63-year-old Anthony Warner parked his camper van on a Nashville Street, across from the AT&T offices. After giving Police fifteen minutes warning that he was going to explode a bomb, he killed himself in a massive explosion.

Fortunately, thanks to quick action by the Nashville police, Warner was the only casualty in the explosion. Sadly, a year earlier, Warner’s girlfriend disclosed to the Nashville Police that he was building bombs in his truck. They arrived at his house, but when he wouldn’t answer the door, they left without any other investigation (They should have called the FBI).

FBI explosives experts speculate that Warner created a practical fuel-air bomb, using propane as the fuel. He apparently got just the right mix of propane and air in the truck, and then used an electronic timer to detonate it. It’s not known when he killed himself, but his flesh and DNA was recovered from the debris.

So, the question is: “Why did Anthony Warner do this?”

Apparently, it has come to light (interviews with neighbors, social media, etc.) that Warner was a conspiracy-theory nut. He believed an obscure QAnon theory that “Lizard People are Running Our Country.” So, where did this nutty idea come from? Allow me to explain.

In 1983, NBC exhibited an entertaining mini-series called “V” which refers to alien Visitors. These extraterrestrials looked just like us, promising to help the Earth with its problems. The big reveal in the show was that these Visitors were actually reptilian lizard people with fake human skins. In a climatic scene, the good guys ripped off the facial covering of the leader, John, on national television.

Of course, John and the Visitors claimed Fake News, Hollywood special effects, and whatnot and began a round-up of all the “Dirty Scientists.” The V mini-series was spun into a two season television series, and a few years ago was rebooted with a new cast and special effects.

In the past several years, we’ve seen the rise of the conspiracy group, QAnon, whose crazy theories have been re-tweeted by President Donald Trump. Buried within the usual conspiracy theories (Moon landing faked, 9/11 an inside job, John F Kennedy Jr is still alive, Barack Obama born in Kenya, and so on), there is the conspiracy theory that the government is run by Lizard People.

That’s right, there are people in the government that are actually disguised lizards. (They’re Democrats, of course). Why, I could be one of these Lizard People.

While this might all sound like good, clean comedy fun, the United States has gone crazy. Next Wednesday, a number of well-educated Republican Senators and Congressmen are going to attempt to overturn a peaceful and fair election that elected Joe Biden in a massive landslide.

Shame on them and everybody who voted for these traitors.